This site is an homage to that singular art of toilet tissue naming. I have always been somewhat fascinated with the peculiar desire of marketeers to come up with names for everything, and these names are sometimes so woefully inappropriate -- given the purpose and nature of the products themselves -- that they are worthy of remark.
This site, then, is my way of honoring the wildly inappropriate names so often given to that staple of modern life - Toilet Tissue!
This all started some years ago when I went to dinner with my wife, B. We went to a nice little Italian place in the neighborhood. At some point I excused myself to go to the men's room and was bemused to discover that the toilet tissue they used was named "Ovation (encore paper)!" Okay, not only is this a really bizarre name for a toilet paper, but what the hell is Encore Paper? I couldn't contain my amazement at this,and grabbed a wrapper to show to my wife. Thus started my collection!
Here, then, is a gallery of marketeer mistakes. Toilet Tissue travesties. Brand-name boo-boos.
| Let's start with the original: Ovation |  |
| Not content to leave good enough alone, they redesigned it: |  |
| I guess any ovation may get a Response! |  |
| The next most bizarre name I found was Vista |  |
| And what do you see from a good vista? Perhaps a Sunrise |  |
| Maybe that sun is rising ovar a Skyline |  |
| After watching the sunrise, you may take a stroll down Mainstreet! |  |
| While on your stroll don't forget to stop and smell the Roses! (Do I sense a euphamism here?) |  |
| A really nice smelling rose may be cause for Acclaim |  |
| Some roses have been around for a while, it's Tradition |  |
| Such roses are Vintage |  |
| A really nice rose may be more than soft, it may be Eversoft (My wife points out that this is one of the rare examples of toilet tissue being aptly named!) |  |
| Continuing in the softness category, we have the more eco-friendly EcoSoft brand |  |
| Your better nature may prefer AngelSoft |  |
| Pure of heart and Pure of thought, as all angels are, calls for PureSoftness |  |
| I guesss this is targetted towards women: Empress |  |
| And this towards men? Maverick (doesn't the horse make you think that this stuff must be up to the task at hand!?) |  |
| And for gay couples, we have Companions (and just what does the tag line "Everything in its place" mean?) |  |
| I couldn't believe that anyone could come up with this and be serious. The company is Seventh Generation and the product is a recycled toilet tissue, so the brand is "Seventh Generation Recycled Toilet Tissue" You just can't make this stuff up! |  |
| This slogan just kills me "Soft on Nature, Soft on You!"! The other great thing about this product is that it is promoted as eco-friendly while being produced by one of the largest polluters in Wisconsin (our home state!)Green Forest |  |
It would appear that we aren't the only ones interested in such issues! Here are some other web sites for your perusal:
TagYerit's Whole World Toilet Paper Museum
A memorium to the Madison Museum of Bathroom Tissue
The canonical Poop Report
How to hang Toilet Tissue? Look at The Contest Center
Perhaps you would like some Digi-Tissue? Check out Dennounce.com
This one is great! Someone found something so special about Toliet Paper that they created a web site, ToiletPaperWorld.com, which can only be viewed with Micro$oft Internet Explorer or you get This Error
If you want to use toilet tissue that is easier on the environment, check out the Green Seal Certification Standards.
And then there is more info on Tree Free Toilet Tissue than you ever wanted
